Though Maroon notes that “there are a lot of femme drag queens who don’t identify under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, as well as femme lesbians who do not identify as queer.”īut being femme can mean having to come out over and over. "Straight people cannot femme,” Werder says. But Kennedy says identifying as “femme” is a way to reflect that LGBTQ+ history.Īnd to be clear, femme *is* an inherently queer identity.
These days femmes are much more accepted by the queer community. The Best Lesbian Dating Apps For The 21st Century Femmes remained outliers in the queer community until the end of the twentieth century when lesbian feminists and activists “did work to combat the idea that a sexual orientation has a look,” she says.
It was a political statement that said: I decide what my sexuality looks like. As such, being a queer lesbian wasn’t just a look or way of dress. “There was this false idea that you were a true lesbian that you did not enjoy Vogue or other markers of femininity associated with femmeness,” says Maroon.
“Much of femme history comes from blue-collar bisexual women, trans-femme sex workers, drag queens, and dyke culture in the 40s and 50s,” says Werder, who notes that the iconic text Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Fienberg (which you can download for free here) offers insight on this rich history.įor a long time, “femme” was a pejorative word, especially within the LGBTQ+ community. And that’s femme.” To really understand the word, you need to understand the history of the word. And I’m doing it despite how people expect me to dress as a woman who sometimes also dates women. Now, she says, “I’m dressing femininely, but I’m doing it for myself. Previously, she was dressing femininely, but she was dressing for others (specifically, men). For queer high-femme legend and writer, Olivia Zayas Ryan, the difference is between how she dressed in college and how she dresses now.